Just a short quote

"The woman came out of a man’s rib: Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

I don't know the origin of this quote, but it came off the profile of a Godly man.

Amen.

A good life

Here is an excerpt from my journal that I re-read the other night and wanted to share, from September 17.

"I mean, really. What is a good life? By the standards of the Bible I will find why and what--by the example of Jesus. In the case of Jesus, it wasn't the job; it wasn't the place; it wasn't the number of miracles; it wasn't even the how that made it a good life. A good life will be one in which I can live anywhere, with however little material possessions, by myself or with others, helping people for the glory of God in the name of Jesus Christ.

A good life will be simple. Perhaps a husband to love and support, children to raise and love, parents to honor, a job to work to help others, friends to keep in touch with, and all to the service of God.

Be giving in the little things.

A smile.
A kind word.
A pause to listen.
A free coffee.
A bowl of favorite cereal.
A special dinner "just because."
A kiss to say I love you.
A quiet moment alone.
A pause to gaze at the stars.
A phone call to mom and dad.
A hand-written letter to brothers and friends.
Hiking the Grand Canyon with a best friend.
Sleeping outside.
A word of blessing.
Jumping into freezing water with crazy girl friends in the middle of the night.
Rolling in snow in your bathing suit.
Kneeling to worship the Lord.
Teaching a child.
Complimenting a 6th grader.
Encouraging a brother, father, husband or friend that he is a man of God, of honor.
Encouraging a sister, mother, or friend that she is beautiful, tender, and strong, like her Maker.
Looking in the mirror and SMILING.
A little dance in bra and underwear.
Moving away to be alone for a while.
A morning just laying in bed.
A trip to Alaska.
A newborn baby sucking your finger.
A brisk walk.
Watching the sunset while holding hands, or watching the sunrise.
Loving someone for their sake, not your own.
Serving at a food kitchen.
Baking cookies for your neighbors.
Befriending the widow.
A good, long, loud laugh at yourself or friends.
A good cry for what is gone and will never be again.
A flour fight in the kitchen.
Praying to remember LIFE.
A life that at least tries to obey and love the Lord.

I like this list. It helps me to do the small things, to just sit back, breathe in, and enjoy life. And to remember that I want to help make it enjoyable for others.

the one

What if the survival of the entire world rested in your own hands? I mean, quite literally, if all of mankind would fall under the shadow of an evil, tyrranous rule if you did not fight and WIN against that force? And though you may not be alone in your fight, you specifically were "the one" who could or could not defeat the evil powers that be. That there was no other 'one.' Jjust you.

It reminds me of The Matrix, how Neo was 'the one' and only one who could save the world from the evil of the system and the agents in the system. It reminds me of the book I just finished, Phantom, and how Richard is the only 'one' who can save the world from falling under the life-sucking power of the Order. I'm sure you can think of many more examples.

But my question is: What is our fascination with this concept of 'the one'? Why are we drawn to, fascinated by, and convinced of this idea that there is just 'one' person who can save the world?

I don't know about you, but I, personally, love reading stories and imagining stories like this. I always find myself apart of that story, helping to fight the enemy. But I noticed one thing. I am never 'the one.'

In all my childlike imaginings, I may like 'the one', I may have a crush on 'the one', I may envy 'the one,' or wish that I was brave enough to be 'the one,' but in reality, I always feel the most purpose when I know the one, believe in him, and fight with him.

It's ironic just how stone-cold obvious some things are once you think about it, isn't it?

A new home...barren and dry

The countryside rolls on for miles. Literally, miles. In fact, quite possibly thousands of miles. Alas, I am here in Brush, safe in my hotel, and pondering the future. Though it may sound all profound, the future that I am pondering is really quite simple. Tomorrow. What will my first day of work bring? Before saying good-bye to Kassi at the Denver International Airport, we ate at Chili's, and I felt like hurling. Too bad the first thing to go for me, when I am anxious, is my appetite. But we had a great time on our little road trip. We drove long and hard the first day, but rejoiced when stopping at the Fleming's house, where we enjoyed the Fleming family (though Tania was not there), delicious food, and good sleep. And our second day saw...well guess. More driving! The countryside is beautiful and we had a hayday of picture-taking! Lastly, the third day (which is still going on) saw sleeping in, food, and shopping at Walmart. Then...I said good-bye to dear Kassi! How wonderful and scary.

But still, I know the Lord is good and my friends and family back home support me. Those two things alone are what fuel me. Seriously, I know I could make it with the Lord alone, but I have confidence because of the people who believe in me. Thank you for believing in me. And though in the next couple of months you may not ponder the times that I have spoken life into you, while I am gone, there will be many times when I will take another step alone because of something one of you has spoken and breathed into me.

I look forward to a number of things right now:

1. Working in a school to teach.
2. Seeing my friends in early November (bring warm clothes, y'all).
3. Going to California for Thanksgiving.
4. Finding a new church family to rely upon and worship with.
5. Talking to each of you on the phone, whether middle of the day or late into the night (don't worry Dulcy, it won't be too long).
6. Shopping for snow boots.
7. Giving a big LONG hug to each of you when I return.

Some friend-ly photos!

And they are some gorgeous women.


On another note, I'm going to be calling y'all at some point in order to have coffee together, or hot chocolate/hot tea. I will be doing that to remind me of home, so you'd better be willing!

I love you guys.

More to say later.

A thunderstorm birthday

If you know me, you know that I love nature and thunderstorms. This time of year in Florida is usually rampant with storms of all kinds--thunderstorms and hurricanes. Until yesterday, I didn't get a chance to experience a really good t-storm. But here is my rationality behind the amazing TWO thunderstorms I experienced yesterday.

Though I couldn't spend my birthday with friends and family back home, the Lord took special care of me (though He always does). He knows all the things I love, the things that inspire worship of Him. So yesterday all of Hernando County was hit by a HUGE thunderstorm. I sat outside under covering and watched lightning streak the sky, loud claps of thunder roll overhead, and bullets of rain shoot down in flash flooding. It was rad.

Then a friend and co-worker, Lisa, took me out to eat on the marshy bay along the Florida Coast. We ate as it poured rain and wind. She then took me to Pine Island, which is a wee little "island" on the west central coast. It was phenomenal. To the west was the Gulf of Mexico and setting sun. Underneath our feet was white sparkly sand; and behind us resided green palm trees, lush island greenery and huge blue-grey storm clouds making their way closer, rolling in ominously and majestically.

Lastly, after talking to friends and family, some singing differing versions of "happy birthday" or "hoppy birdlegs" or Charlie Brown choraling, I fell asleep peacefully.

And then. Two A.M. It hits. The loudest clap of thunder I may have ever heard. No joke, ANOTHER storm rolls in while I'm sleeping to wake me up! This time, I feel a mix of feelings. I am actually a little scared this time. I pray that we don't have a tornado. I am seriously afraid of tornados, though they are awe-inspiring. I have to say, I've never heard thunder last as long as it did. I counted the seconds to see how long one clap of thunder lasted. It was right overhead and one clap lasted 19 seconds!!!!!

God gives good gifts.

Withlacoochee River...and LOVEBUGS, a story

Saturday morning: Wake up at 8:45 (which isn't too late, but I stayed up until 2am talking to a friend). Shower. Dress. Leave hotel at 9:45am. Drive for 45 minutes through jungle country of west peninsula Florida.

Arrive at destination: Wild Bill's Airboat Adventures on the Withlacoochee River.

Cost:$24 for 1 hour private airboat tour on the river.

Sights:
Animals: I saw 5 alligators, 4-5 turtles, a gigantic fish, huge blue pelicans, eagles, huge white birds (don't know name), other huge black birds, wild turkeys, osprey, little black birds with red beaks that run like chickens, a black spider with glowing orange eyes.
Nature: Aspen trees, riverbanks, water, Spanish moss, 700-year-old tree, 25-feet deep natural spring (average temperature at 72 degrees F), ferns, palms, and deep foliage. When our guide cut the engine, you are almost deafened by the sounds of bugs and animals life in the swamp and forest.

Did: Took about 25 pictures.

Food: Went out to food afterward in little town of Inverness at a restaurant called Cinnamon Sticks. Yummy. I'm stuffed.

Soon to come: pictures of the adventure.

OH, on another note, for one of my friends who likes anything to do with love, there are TONS (and I mean SWARMS) of these little black bugs called LOVEBUGS. They are the real thing. The story behind the lovebug is you notice that these bugs are seldom flying solo; lovebugs fly around as they "make love." And seriously, these are some happy bugs, because they are everywhere, all the time, always together. The folktale behind the lovebug origin says that the lovebug was a hybrid made in an attempt to create a bug that would eat mesquitos to cut down on the 'squito population. However, the lovebug soon became too enthralled with its own partner, and now the lovebug is more prominent than the mesquito. Thankfully, the lovebug is so busy that it doesn't bite or sting. :)

So friendly...

It is crazy. I just got some take-out Chinese food from a local family restaurant and saw a young family eating there. As I waited for my food, I sneakily observed the family--a younger couple with 2 children, a girl about 2 and a boy about 7. The boy was the most polite, sweet child one could ask to see. His sister spilled her water, he rushed to clean it up. He threw away the wet napkin and sweetly said "Hello" to me. He said "thank you" to waiter. He opened the door for his mom. He smiled and said "thank you" to his dad for dinner as they were leaving.

I was astonished, and so very happy at heart to see this beautiful child who radiated some kind of joy and light. I wanted to be like him.

Though it's Florida, this town is such a mix between country and mid-upper city life. It's mostly country...and SO laid back. I do not speed here. I wait behind slow cars. People say "hi" even if they don't know you.

Oh, and more and more, I am falling in love with these children. Middle school age is fantastic, especially 6th and 7th grade. They are young enough not to be too harassed by the world, and old enough to have a mostly adult converstation with. Oh. And they are usually the easiest people to compliment.

I am going to go eat my Chinese, watch Friends, and think about how I can live like that child.

Aloha. Oh wait, I'm not in Hawai'i!

Hello friends, it's true. I'm not in Hawai'i, but it's just as stinking humid here in sunny Florida! I am saying hello from Brooksville, FL a "small" town located just north of Tampa Bay by about 40 miles. It has been a blast so far...just finished my first day of work/training.

But a little about the funny adventure. Really. It was hilarious.

My flights were fine (just one layover that went from lasting 45minutes to about 2 hours). Sad to say, I am a drooler. I can't help it. I love take-off and landing. Take-off has so much power that it makes me feel like a silly school girl I'm so excited. Landing, I am just praying that we don't crash. But during flight? Ahhh...my FAVORITE. Nausea hits first, then a little bit of a pounding headache. Lastly, the effects that linger days after the flight. But I am thankful to say that I successfully flew on 9/11, 5 years after the tragedy. I am alive. But it made me much more conscious of those who died.

Getting my rental car. Now that was interesting. My first time...and it was a little nerve-wracking, but I managed.

The drive from 9-10pm in the dark from Tampa to Brooksville with size 8 font directions. Now THAT was interesting. I think I wanted to cuss many a time (I didn't). But I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that, because I was smart enough to travel with NO cash on me, the highway I traversed was a toll road. For those of you Northwesterners like myself who haven't traveled on such a road, bring change. Lots of it. I wrote 4 checks for $1.00 or less. Yep, it was awesome. And the last toll was .25. It was my last quarter. I stopped a few feet from the deposit for the toll, so I gave my quarter a little toss. Mind you, it was about 9:45pm. I missed the deposit and heard the **** quarter hit the ground and roll away. "Are you kidding me?" I shrieked in livid frustration. I opened my car door, searched for the quarter, couldn't find it, and salvaged the remaining .25 from nickels and dimes.

And then I got in my car and drove to the hotel. I am alive. :) Oh, and my shower was cold this morning!

But work was awesome today. Seriously, I am SO excited to be doing what I'm doing. A little nervous still, but excited. Oh, and I have blisters on both heels from walking so much. The lady I shadowed today is awesome. Her name is Lisa (she's in her early 30s or so), and she and I get along well. I hope to take some pictures of the scenery, and maybe see a gator or two. I guess Florida is known for its gators. Maybe I'll even wrassle one.

Honestly, through all the little things that were somewhat stretching, if this is part of what it's like to do something for other people, I am SO stoked. I just want to honor the Lord.

Oh, and I miss you guys!

Making a gain in literacy

I conanonnonoton tonalonkon. Wonhonyon amon I gonoinongon tono toneaconhon? Iton ison inonsonanonitonyon aton itonson bonesonton. :) Ohon tonhone irononony.

But for real, oh the irony of life! Oh the irony of life! I can hardly believe it at times. I can hardly believe where I am, who I'm with, where I'm going. What is this? I mean, how can this seemingly chaotic life end up being so amazingly directed? Only God can do this. He must be real.

I adore starry nights, with a cool/warm breeze, rustling leaves, and a bright yellow moon. I love the people with whom I can share life and life's experiences.

And it is so reassuring to know just how much I don't know, but don't need to know. I am a doubter by nature, though I also have been given a measure of faith (as has each man). Wow, I think that faith is almost a torment (sometimes). We all have an ounce of it, so we can't get rid of it. And at the same time, we fear that faith has no bottom--that what we are afraid to be an empty well really is an empty well and not the living well we have faith to hope it is. Does that make sense? And yet, I would rather die than not have even that ounce of faith, that ounce of hope. What is the point of living if there is no hope? Hope for something better, hope for someone, hope for good things.

On one final note, I realized a truth a couple of days ago. You know in I Corinthians where it says, "Love hopes all things"? Well, I realized that it hopes all things sometimes against what you think is your better judgment or desire. That true love can't help but hope for what it yearns. Hope, like faith, can be a torment at times. And yet, like I said, I would not want to live if I did not have hope. Though love is the strongest of the three: faith, hope, and love, I think that hope is my "favorite," if I can have a favorite. :) I say that because, though I don't always have faith to do something or believe something, nor do I always have love for people, I do ALWAYS seem to hope for those things, and to hope for what is better. Even when I think something to be impossible, I CAN'T HELP but hope.

I think I'm going to like this...

After intensive training today (for 8 1/2 *sigh* LONG hours), I feel MUCH better about what I am doing in the next upcoming months. Of course, being in the actual school center in Tampa Bay for a week and a half will greatly improve my confidence and ability level, but I am feeling better today. Oh. And I am feeling loved by my co-workers, who want to take me out to "happy hour" tomorrow after work--that should be interesting! :) Um, what's happy hour? ;)

On another note, I've been realizing just how funny it is to serve the Lord sometimes. Just how much it can and must be a conscious choice to do so. At times, the choosing comes easier than at others. The Lord knows how pig-headed and stubborn I can be! But I'm glad He loves me.

And I was realizing as I wrote in my journal last night (or maybe it was the night before last), that I was going to be alone for the next few months. Of course, we all want friends near, or family, or a special someone. And I (whoopdeedoo) realized that none of these things will be accompanying me on my move. At this point, a little panic set in. But as I wrote all these things about how I'm scared because I won't have a husband to go with me, or a friend, or my mom or dad, or even a brother, I realized yet again that this is reality. In life, even if I have in my life all of the people above mentioned, it is not possible for them all to be with me whenever I need or want them to. The reality hit for real that only the Lord walks closer than a friend, closer than a brother. He won't ever leave, like a friend will. He won't ever move out, like a child will. He won't ever go to work, like a husband will. He won't ever die or get sick, like a parent might. He is always walking with me. Closer and more intimate than a husband, than a parent, than a friend. And I was suddently amazed and so thankful. Not only for myself, but for my friends too--when they face their own journeys, struggles, and decisions when I'm not there. I know that their Lord will be.

Now, I can rest assured when I think about you. Because the Lord will never leave or forsake you. And that brings me peace and courage.

Sooner than I expected

My heart leapt in my throat, I wanted to throw up, and I started shaking. Yes, it seems quite dramatic, but such was my physical reaction today after talking to my new boss about Colorado because I leave sooner than expected, sooner than I have mentally prepared for!

I leave on Monday, 9/11, for training near Tampa Bay, FL, where I will stay until Wednesday, 9/20, upon which I return to Seattle to embark upon packing for my trip to Brush, CO. Now, all the details at this point are not fully clear yet, because I possibly may be driving my car from Seattle to Brush (but hopefully not). I am scheduled to arrive in Brush not later than the 26th.

Even as I write this, I feel myself wanting to tremble. I'm such a child sometimes! :) But I am truly intimidated. I'll be alone, in a new place, for 3 months. I know, I know...at least I know the language (Tania) and at least it's only 3-4 months! But I've realized lately how very much my loved ones mean to me. I am very blessed. And I am also feeling chaotic about leaving so soon. Thankfully, I have to rely on the Lord for this one, because it's just me and Him, baby! Whew.

I want to cry. (And still, I laugh because it's not THAT long.)

Forgotten

Through the course of the last couple of months, I have forgotten what it means to be loved.

Which is absolutely ridiculous.

I write this on the eve of saying good-bye to a brother. On the eve of saying good-bye to my family before I leave on my own excursion to Colorado. And it's been a lot of posting, but I guess I need it more for myself than anybody else.

I had forgotten, or more realistically, could not believe, that anybody could or would want to fight for me. My friends saw this, but only the Lord understood it intimately in my heart. I have been unable to believe the Lord that He sees me as His beloved, His bride. I have been unable to believe my worth. Have you ever been there? I write this for you.

But today I read again that the Lord is the King in armour, riding mighty, strong, and tall. FOR ME.

"Who is this coming from Edom, from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson?
Who is this, robed in splendor, striding forward in the greatness of this strength?
'It is I, speaking in righteousness, mighty to save.'
Why are your garments red, like those of one treading the winepress?
'I have trodden the winepress alone, from the nations no one was with me.
I trampled them in my anger and trod them down in my wrath;
their blood spattered my garments, and I stained all my clothing.
For the day of vengeance was in my heart,
and the year of my redemption has come'" (Isaiah 63.1-4).

Wow. These couple of verses breathed life back into me today. That the Lord, mighty to save, is not just gentle and kind, but He strides forward in the greatness of strength, fighting all enemies, against all odds, all alone, in order to save me, to save the people of God.

As women, we need to believe this. And men too, because the Lord is Lord of all.

Part II--the birthday night.

*Sigh* He leaves in less than 24 hours. Everybody cried.

Here's more pictures from the birthday night.

Blowing out candles (obviously)

Caught in the act of eating

My parents got him a shirt and a sliver phone, and he got a Bible.










Going out to the casino with some friends (and to say good-bye)

The weekend my lil' brother leaves...part I

It's true. My oldest younger brother leaves for the Air Force tomorrow, September 4, the date of his 20th birthday. It is strange, difficult, scary, sad, exciting. I am going to miss him so much! I'm kind of having a hard time with it. Whew...everything is changing. (Take a deep breath) If you think of my family and I, please pray for us! And give me a call, too, I am in need of some friendship! :0)

So I am happily taking a bunch of pictures. Here are a few of the pics from yesterday (we celebrated his birthday last night...and will do some more tonight too).




Tyler flexing (he actually has really big muscles, it's weird)









Homer is resting in the most uncomfortable place on Nick--it was really funny! And you can see Tyler in the background, looking normal in a picture, for once! (he's reading this as I'm typing and said, "thanks a lot" with a sheepish grin.)












Me and the brother--he wouldn't sit up for this one, so I had to lean over.

Trying to sleep, but I got him. He obviously knew I was trying to take a picture! :) We laughed for a while about this one. You should see the other one...his tongue is hanging out and his eyes are half open. It's kinda creepy.

Brush, CO

Yes, it's true. God has provided and I am moving to Brush, Colorado in less than a month! Brush is located outside of Fort Collins, just north of Denver. I am so excited (and a little scared)! I will be in Brush for 3 months (which is totally possible and not too overwhelming) setting up the Lindamood-Bell School Services program in a school there in Brush. It is so appealing because the school services program is much less expensive, and thus allows more students to participate in the programs and get the teaching that they need. I have intensive training this week to prepare (and will continue training until I leave in a few weeks).

The most intimidating part of the whole thing is that I have been "promoted" to a consultant position (whereas I am currently a clinician[ie teacher]). As a consultant, I will not only be learning and helping administer our battery of tests and pacing the students, but will be teaching the TEACHERS the programs so that they can continue when we are gone. Holy cow. I am only 21 (soon to be 22!), and I will be teaching teachers? Whew. Okay, but God is good and I am so honored and excited to be used in this way! And I pray that the Lord be honored in all I do; even if the company is not Christian, I will represent Christ!

So if you are reading this, I want to hang out with you before I leave!