Loving people

I picked one of my brothers up from the airport last night from Seatac, and let me tell you, I can hardly even describe my emotions! First, I am just so thankful, SO thankful, that he is safe and home now. All glory to God.

Thinking that traffic would be horrible, I left about an hour and 15 minutes early, in order to make it to Seatac on time. However, I was wrong. I made it in the usual 30 minutes. The cell phone waiting lot was full, so I (along with about 50 others) parked illegally along the side of the road. That is, until a cop car showed up behind us and inched forward with a loudspeaker kindly telling everyone NOT to park there. So I drove ahead and found a parking lot (not to be used for waiting either). And I waited for my brother.

He called, I hung up the phone, and drove to arrivals. "Where are you?" I asked him on the phone again--oops, wrong level.

Finally, I see him walk out from the double doors, tall and handsome, short cropped hair!

I'm not joking, he is so excited to be home. I don't think I've ever seen him more excited about anything. We get in the car after giving him a hug and putting his duffel in the backseat. His legs are going, he keeps repeating, "yeah, I'm pretty pumped" and I can't stop smiling! He had to wake up at 3:45am, after going to bed at 2:15am, in order to get his room ready and make it to the airport. During the drive home, we listened to Bush, FooFighters, and Michael Jackson. During Michael's "Beat It" we're both singing loud until all of a sudden my brother's voice fades out and I look over. He's sleeping with his mouth hanging open. I look over 5 minutes later, his head is now hanging in front of him; he's asleep. Smiling, I turn down the music and just thank the Lord for my family, and pray that we make it home safe. We did. I love them.

Home sweet home!

Alas...how many nights did I lay awake dreaming about these few weeks...and now they have arrived! I am safe in Seattle. Praise God.

We (my apartment) has been housing a young family of 5 whose electricity has been out at their house now for going on 5 days. They are SO sweet! Can we adopt children? :) It is incredible just how dependent we are upon technology, isn't it?

I spent a wonderful day at home, another wonderful day with my boyfriend, and am about to spend the next two weeks with friends and family! What a blessed time. How blessed I am. Thank you, Lord!

Okay, well, that's all for now. Merry Christ-mas! Jesus IS the reason for the season!

Two things

Make that three...

1. My last day of work (for a few weeks) was blissful! I just love Christmas time--AND I got to work with a group of students as the teacher (I haven't done a full session in a few months!). It was rad. I love students.

2. I found out that, most likely, unless I am willing to travel during the in-between times of being in Brush after January, I need to find a new job. *Sigh*

3. Last night I was freaking out. I seriously think I almost had an anxiety attack (self-induced). Eek, sometimes I frustrate myself so incredibly! Essentially, as I talked to my dad, he updated me on the horrible weather in Washington--high winds in Seattle, masses of snow in the mountains, etc., and that same old fear plunged into my heart again. Oh, how frustrating! I felt almost paralyzed with fear--fear of death. Fear that my dad would get hurt or killed. That our drive would be disastrous. Etc. Etc. Etc. Can you imagine me just standing in the bathroom, toothbrush in mouth, WORRYING about stupid events that COULD happen but haven't? I was practically making myself cry and freak out over what COULD happen.

Never do I intend not to trust the Lord. I want to trust him! And I do when I am sane, like now. But last night I could hardly believe myself when I said "I trust you, Lord."

However, I was reminded of the most beautiful truth on earth. I was even chastened about it (and I needed it). No matter what happens, if my dad gets hurt or killed, or I get in a severe accident, or someone I love gets cancer, the one phrase that must never leave my heart and lips is "Praise God." Praise God. Praise God. Praise God. He is the author.

Honestly, I HATE death. I HATE IT. PRAISE GOD that He defeated it! If it wasn't for Jesus Christ, I would be hopeless and remain consumed by my fear of death. But NO MORE!

The last few days!

"It is complete!" Yes, I just finished doing laundry, packing, and preparing for the last day of work here in Brush for about 3 weeks! What's left: cleaning, sleeping, waking, working, and picking up my dear father from the airport! And lastly...the drive. :) The drive is supposed to take 17hours 30minutes from here to Yakima, as suggested by lovely mapquest. I am praying that such is the case! Weather can be unpredictable at best, but God is the author!

Honestly, the excitement hasn't hit quite yet. Work is exhausting, though worthwhile and good. It will be lovely to enjoy the company of those I love the best. This is going to be one of my favorite Christmas's yet. Not only because of the beautiful gift of Jesus, but also because my brother will be home from the Air Force, and we'll all be together for at least 5 days! And I will be blessed with seeing people I haven't seen for 3 months. Thank the Lord.

So, I've been thinking. Why do we give gifts? What is the purpose?

Do we give in order to be given in return?

Theoretically speaking, the ideal definition (in my terms) of giving is:
Giving necessarily denotes sacrificial offering without an expected return. If we can't give with this kind of attitude, it's not really giving, is it? I would recommend, don't give a gift if you don't mean it.

A few apologetics resources

The following are a few resources to begin with that can aid in the search for a deeper look into the validity of the Bible (and other Christian claims). I have read some of these, and referenced some, and others have been suggested to me. These are just a few basics...there are many out there. F.F. Bruce is a renowned, thorough, and researched Biblical scholar. Try searching online or in bookstores with the keyword search for "apologetics" or "Christian apologetics." Apologetics comes from the Greek apologia, and it essentially means "defense" or defending. So, in general, Christian apologetics sets out not only to defend Christian beliefs, but to answer critiques as well.

Here are a few basic read resources:

Josh McDowell (his "Evidence..." books--there are several)
Lee Strobel ("The Case for..." books--there are several here too. Like "The Case for faith," etc.)
Michael Green

More advanced research resources:

Kreeft and Tacelli's "Handbook of Christian Apologetics" (IVP, 1994)
***F.F. Bruce "The Canon of Scripture"***

Let me know if anyone would like more!

Giving toys to children...

Slowly, the aide wheeled her into my room. The little girl with Down's Syndrome followed, a big smile on her face. Looking up from my preparations for class that afternoon, my heart skipped again with joy. My favorite girl in the world had come to visit!

They made their way around the tables to my desk in the back. A big grin lit up her entire face, and I couldn't help but match her smile with one of my own. Beautiful. Big brown eyes dancing.

"Hi, ---, it's good to see you!" I said to her, waiting about 7-10 seconds for her slurred reply. Behind her wheelchair, a hand waved at me in glee. "Hi..." was the slow reply.

Gathering my wits and my tongue that just gets all tied around them, I pulled out my stash of cool toys and presented it to the girls. "Would you each like to pick a toy to play with after school?" I asked. The one pulled out a whistle and tried to give it a "hoot." She smiled at the quiet whistling sound. She didn't give it much air.

I waited for the other. She looked at me, looked at the toys. I wasn't sure she wanted one. Until slowly she reached her hand up and plopped it into the black box. She can't control her hand and arm muscles very well, so she picked up about three toys. But her sights were set on the blue racecar. Placing it on her leg, the aide told the girls to say "thank you, Ashley." They both smiled at me and WOW. My heart is gone again just writing about it!

Last week the girl in the wheelchair was sick, I found out today. Last week I worried that her condition had worsened. Oh, miracle.

Just a few perks...

Perks to living on my own:

There's always hot water and an unoccupied bathroom.
I can drink straight out of the Sprite bottle (yes, I do that).
I can turn my lights on and off whenever my heart desires.
The only messes in the house are created by me.
Decor is whatever I want it to be.
The fridge is entirely mine!
The parking spot. Enough said. :)

Perks to living with roommates:

There's usually always someone home with whom to talk.
Late night talks.
Borrowing clothes.
Girl's nights out.
Contributing various necessities of a household, such as dishes, furniture, etc.
As a woman, you feel safer with other people around.
Roommate dinners.
Sharing bathroom/kitchen/living room clean-up.
Watching movies and swooning as only women can!

There are more that could fit in both categories, but more so in the "living with roommates" category! I'm coming home, babay!

Ooh...that was fun!

What a good week. You know what? It was a blessed week of not using my computer for anything other than my work purposes (computers are essential nowadays for any kind of career). The computer can be a stumbling block for me (just as I know anything that I obsess over can be). I tend to spend time on it that is unnecessary and really, just a waste of breath. As a friend said recently, even small things in our lives can become idols. An idol is simply something that takes the place of God. Whether or not it's a little statue called Budha, an online obsession, pornography, weight-obsession, etc. Not that checking my email is bad or sinful! I just don't want to be one who checks my email 50 times a day! :) Same way that I don't want to check my weight 50 times a day, or wash my hands 50 times a day! Make sense?

I like it that I was called "unintelligent" on my blog by someone who had to post as anonymous. That's awesome. :) Thank you. :)

Anyways, at work this week it was better than any other week (not necessarily because I didn't use my computer). I engaged in a few very meaningful conversations with co-workers, was able to encourage some students, and I joined a kick-boxing class! That was rad. I am so sore it isn't funny. Did you know that you have muscles in your neck...and you can make them sore? Wow.

On another note. My heart broke twice today.

Once. A child who is 6 years old was pulled out of school last night because the mom ran away from home. She is a meth addict. Her child was doing the best out of all of the peers in class. I hate to see such events happen to these innocent children! And the desperation that this mother must be feeling...wow. Lord help them.

Twice. Another child expressed fear in class to a teacher that the father would come to school with a shotgun looking for him/her. The father beats the mother, and the family is going to go into hiding from the father. So this child won't be back in school on Monday either.

There is so much more to this life than what we so ignorantly and repeatedly tell ourselves. If I am unable to "fast" from the internet for a week, or a month, what is wrong there? In reality, people are hurting all around. Children in school. Roommates. Family members. Jesus Christ died to set the captives free, but what if his people are too busy with other things? I think that's what happened with the Israelites before they wandered around for 40 years. They were too busy with their own idols. All I'm saying is that we should be able to forfeit those things, if it came down to it. Can you? Can I? And please don't be ridiculous and assume that I am suggesting that the internet in and of itself is wrong. This week I wanted to learn a little more about how I hold some little treasures close to my heart that aren't really treasures.

Computer fasting...

Though I don't know if it will merit any spiritual significance, I am sick and tired of the computer. If it's possible to hold animosity toward an inanimate object, I do! For one, it consumes way too much precious time. Two, it is a potential stumbling block. Three, there is no inherent value in the computer.

I look forward way too much to somebody writing me or finding out new precious tidbits on facebook. Sad. Thus, I have just made the rash decision to fast from my personal computer this week. After I click "Publish Post," my little cyber world will disappear and I'll recall that life does have meaning outside of it! There is a bright, shining, world out there, and we really do live in it. Though the classification "live" possesses several meanings, breathing and taking up space as a tech-obsessor does not cut it for me. Alas and sigh. This will be good. If I want to talk to you, I guess I'll call you, huh? Or you'll call me. Before residing in Colorado, I spent perhaps 20% of the time on it as I do now. Whoa, I guess it's easy to do when you're by yourself, but there is more...Oh so much more out there! :)

Just an FYI before I am severed from your world: condemnation can consume us, but freedom resides in the blood of Christ. I learned that today. Perhaps it actually sunk into my opaque skull this time.

Scrambled eggs...I mean "thoughts!"

Wow, this has been an insane week! Seriously. I'm pretty overwhelmed with joy!

1. It's the Christmas season and I just finished all of my Christmas shopping...in one weekend! Yes, I am proud of that fact, AND I think I actually bought gifts that people will like this year. It's nice to have a little more money than in the past to spend on Christmas.

2. At church today, I started talking with a younger girl (she's probably 19 or so) about Christ and walking with Him. It was such a blessed conversation!

3. Two more weeks and I'll be driving home with my amazing dad on a 2-day road-trip! Not many people find the opportunity to embark on a road-trip with just their dad! It should be a lot of fun (and a lot of driving). Please pray that we'll encounter good weather and safe driving as we make this trek from Colorado, into Wyoming, Utah, Idaho, Oregon, and finally Washington!

4. When you start praying for opportunities to show and share the love of Christ, you start getting them.

5. I read in Oswald Chambers' My Utmost last night and came across an idea that sparked me. That we should live in a way that creates a yearning in other people for Jesus. Whew. Wow. That's convicting, isn't it?