All or nothing

All or nothing. All? Or nothing? Of course there are times when we are supposed to hold back, wait longer, have patience, pray more, persevere, take a deep breath, and just trust. Sometimes it seems like this life is more about waiting for the next big thing, the next step, in our lives rather than the actual happening of that so called "big thing." But life usually consists of the everyday. The mundane. The ordinary. The waiting. You know what I mean.

I am realizing in myself that I am, as a friend put it, "an all or nothing" type of person. Now this application applies to many aspects of life, but in realizing this about myself, I also realize that it can make it extremely difficult to be in the in-between stage of anything. Of the transition from college to career, of living with parents to life on my own, of relationships, of Christianity. Tell me if you agree or disagree, but I think that we were created to be "all or nothing" types of creatures. We either give everything (and this can mean of our hearts, of our lives, of our finances, of our time, you pick), or we give nothing. I want to invest all of myself in whatever I do as unto the Lord, because we are called to do everything as unto the Lord, whether in life or in death. That means all, doesn't it?

So now, what does that mean, giving all, when most of our lives consists of waiting, of being in-between, of the ordinary and everyday? Of course we still have friendships, relationships, jobs, papers, hobbies, etc., into which we pour ourselves. But really? How do we live our all in the everyday? I'm finding out (the hard way, as usual) that it is in seeking the Lord with all. You might say, "duh," but you will also probably agree with me when I say it's extremely difficult. As Deuteronomy 6.4-5 says "Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."

That means all. I know. It's the hardest thing to do.